Throughout life most of us go on at least one journey to learn something new, experience joy, find answers and let go of the old...When we return home, everyone shares their stories, which in turn enriches their experience and expands their awareness of reality. Years ago, I went on a journey to find the truth – about me, the world and to figure out the purpose of life on Earth. By sharing my stories with you, I hope to inspire and expand your consciousness about the world.
Back where it all began
Since I was 7 years old, there has been one question on my mind regularly: “Who am I?” …Despite my continuous efforts, no one seemed to care enough to take time and engage in a discussion with me. At the age of 18, I went on a serious quest to finally get my answer. The journey soon turned into a bumpy ride, taking me to the most unique corners of the world - from the highest peaks to the deepest caves; engaging in a variety of tasks – from prestigious positions to serving the poor and helpless. However, I was lucky enough to meet many different types of people – some of them were fully enlightened beings, ruling their spiritual thrones and almost God-like; whilst others were humbly sharing the little they had with such selfless love and compassion that it made me cry. Not only did I learn a lot, I also experienced a vast range of emotions – from love to anger, happiness to sadness and courage to fear.
Over the years, I have realised that nothing stays forever and whatever we experience in the moment, no matter how amazing it feels, loses its relevance sooner or later. Despite the many great places I have visited and the wonderful people I have met, no one could answer my question. The truth I was searching for could only be found within and therefore I decided to spend more and more time meditating until I found my answer!
The answer comes when we least expect it
After years of meditation, I felt confident and strong. Having let go of so much of my past, was there anything that could arise that I could not handle? Over the many years, I spent in silence, I completely forgot that the purpose was to find my answer.
As the days passed and one more silent retreat was coming to an end, there was a strange feeling as if I was about to wake up from a deep dream of great darkness. The silence broke, I opened my eyes and there it was clearly in front of me – the amount of negativity my learned behavioural patterns had produced throughout my life. Like a toxic poison, it was spreading through my intestines, infecting my entire body, causing deep and long-lasting pain. Two days after the course I was unable to do anything else but to stare at the ceiling and cry, it felt like half my body had been cut off. I then turned to my teacher to help me find out why I had found this misery.
Sitting in front of an old lady who had spent half her life following so-called enlightened masters and who knew a great deal about love and compassion, I felt like a little child who did not understand anything. Did she really just say that my negativity was contagious and I had to be either isolated from others or leave?
I have learnt that being honest in most situations only causes complications, leading to most people either not talking or decorating the truth. Yet, this was a therapeutic and safe space, filled with love and compassion. If not here, where could I speak the truth? With my eyes wide open and not being able to close my mouth from the shock of what I just heard, a tear streamed down my face. Following her advice, I stood up and humbly thanked her for the eye-opening experience and left the room.
Feeling confused and still in shock as well as having additional feelings of shame due to the state I had found myself in, I contacted some experienced spiritual friends to help. To my even greater surprise, none of them had time to listen to me or share an ounce of compassion. All I got out of their conversation was their technical advice to just remain present.
Selfless love – a stranger in the fast-paced modern world
Having spent many years lovingly receiving all the broken souls, who came to me crying and in pain, cheering them up and selflessly giving myself away; I could not understand why, now that I needed someone, there was not a single person out there, who would be ready to receive me, open their arms, hold me and tell me everything was OK. Was it possible, that despite the current popularity of yoga and meditation, the love and compassion residing in people had decreased even more?
Remembering my childhood and all the love there was surrounding me at that time, I stopped at the house of an elderly family friend, who had moved away from my village and was living only a couple of kilometres away from the retreat. Standing at the door I was received with a welcoming smile. Right there – this old lady, who was in no relationship with me, neither was she my best friend nor my therapist, spread her arms and took me into a warm, loving, long hug. For the next 10 days, she took care of me, cooked for me, took me out for walks and looked at me with so much love and compassion that even the slightest thought of darkness or negativity dissolved before it could materialise in my brain. Never before did I feel so grateful then at this time. Slowly, my senses came back, my mind became clear and I was able to smile again. Although this lady never practised any form of yoga as we know it in the West today, she was its pure personification. Being there with her, I felt like a rare diamond she took care of with all she knew and could – her pure heart and whole self.
No one and nothing can change who we truly are
The memory of the old meditation teacher arose, holding her walking stick in the air, shouting at me while I was playfully jumping around once the course was over: “Please do not run around as people might think something bad has happened!” This made me understand that no matter what happens in our life, there is something within each of us, that never changes. It was in this moment, that I opened my arms up to the sky, smiled and shouted back: “I am sorry, even if I try, this is who I am and I cannot and have no reason to change!”
Truth is more simple than we think
It was right there that I have accepted the answer given. For years, I had been searching for something greater out there, trying again and again, looking for truth where there was none, resulting only in greater personal disappointment. I left a beautiful countryside, where I was given a wonderful loving family, who could not answer my question about who I was, yet they gave me all they knew and had – their selfless love. Returning back home, I have realised we are here on earth to experience the beauty of our life, to share love and compassion and connect to our true self in whatever way we best can. It was all so simple and I hardly believed this was it. Yet it is.
It was during this moment when I decided to share real stories about real people rather than about famous masters and miracle workers who I met on my way through the Himalayas. My most precious memories are not of the famous people or enlightened Gurus I met but are of the moments I shared with simple, unknown people that happened to meet me on the way and who taught me the most.
Stories to inspire you to experience, pure, true, selfless love right where you are
I hope some of my stories will ignite a spark of change within you. I wish to inspire you to open your eyes and look around yourself with gratitude, observe people in your environment and see what you can actually learn from them. Take time, stay around people close to you and experience who you are whilst interacting with them, I assure you, this will be one of the best investments you have ever made.